A really reassuring guide for the toddler years. It gave me a plan for the meltdowns instead of just surviving them, and I feel less like I'm winging it every day.
Positieve Opvoeding: Essentiële Technieken voor Peuter Jaren
Leer hoe je driftbuien kunt beheersen, effectieve grenzen kunt stellen en emotionele intelligentie bij je kind kunt bevorderen met behulp van positieve, op verbinding gerichte methoden.
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The approach itself is sound and my son responds to it. The trouble is my parents watch him twice a week and do the old shouting routine, so we lose ground every time — a chapter on getting other caregivers on board would have helped a lot.
Overall a thoughtful, gentle approach to the toddler stage and I've taken a lot from the sections on emotional coaching. My one gripe is that it's quite text-heavy and I would have loved a few more concrete word-for-word examples for the trickier moments like public tantrums. Still, the boundary-setting framework is sound and I catch myself using the calm-voice technique daily. Worth working through slowly.
I have a very strong-willed two year old and mealtimes had become a nightmare. The section on staying calm during a meltdown instead of trying to reason mid-tantrum actually changed how our evenings go. It took a couple of weeks before I stopped reacting the old way, but the scripts for naming his feelings really do help him settle faster. Wish I'd found this before he turned two.
Drop-off used to end with her sobbing and me feeling awful all morning. The short goodbye routine plus naming what she's feeling before we walk in has cut it down to a few tears, and last Thursday there were none at all.
Read this after my wife did and it's the first time we're both handling the same tantrum the same way.
Really solid for one toddler, though I wish it covered sibling situations too.
Everything on tantrums and limits is strong; I'd just hoped it would touch on potty training too, since that's the other daily battle at this age.
My evenings are so much calmer now.
Bedtime tantrums have gone from nightly to maybe once a week using the wind-down boundaries here.
Helpful, but a bit basic if you've read widely.
The bit about repairing after you snap is what I needed most. I still lose my temper sometimes, but going back and saying sorry properly instead of pretending it didn't happen has made him trust me more, not less.
Useful, but assumes your toddler already talks a bit.
Swapping 'good girl' for describing what she actually did has made her stick with hard things much longer.
Finally understand why my toddler tests limits.
Works well on a normal day. When he's overtired or coming down with something, none of it lands and the course doesn't really acknowledge that some meltdowns are just biology. Still, on ordinary days I'm a much calmer parent than I was.
The idea of connecting before you correct sounded fluffy at first, but crouching down to his level before setting a limit genuinely stops half the screaming. Simple change, big difference.
Good practical stuff on setting boundaries without yelling. A few of the ideas repeat across chapters which felt a bit padded, but the core method of offering limited choices works - my daughter fights us way less at bath time now.
What I appreciated most is that it doesn't lecture you or make you feel guilty. Each technique is broken into small steps you can try that same day, and there are realistic examples of when things go sideways and the child keeps melting down anyway. The tone stays practical throughout. I've read three parenting books this year and this was the first one I actually finished and used.
I'd been piecing together advice from random blogs and it was contradictory and overwhelming. Having one structured approach to tantrums and limits in a row made everything click, and the connection-first framing feels right for our family.
Great grounding in why toddlers act out, though the opening chapters felt a little slow to get going.
Great from about two onwards, thinner for the eighteen-month stage.
The car seat war is over. Three days.
The part about setting boundaries with empathy instead of punishment clicked for me.
I'm a childminder, not a parent, and I took this to get better language for the harder moments with the little ones I look after. It's been brilliant for that. The framing of boundary-testing as development rather than misbehaviour changed how I talk about a child's day with their parents at pickup, and I've started using the emotion-naming scripts with a three year old who used to bite. Two months in, the biting has stopped almost entirely. I've since suggested the approach to two of the families I work with.
Lerenden namen ook
De Grondslagen van Zelfbeschikkingstheorie: Wetenschappelijk Onderbouwde Motivatie
Abnormale psychologie: inzicht in geestelijke gezondheid en stoornissen
Positieve discipline: kalm ouderschap voor gedrag en emoties van kinderen
Basiscursus Gezondheidspsychologie
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